In Ohio a student attempting to give a demonstration on healthy snacking was suspended after trying to cut an apple into slices. Da'von Shaw, a student in Bedford, Ohio was giving a speech before his class on nutritious snacking. He brought in some apples and dried cranberries as examples for his class only to be stopped short when he attempted to cut up the apple. The moment he picked up the knife his teacher stopped him and took it from him. He politely gave it to her, not putting up any fuss. Later in the day he was approached and suspended for five days for having a weapon at school. His mother is quoted in a CNN article saying "I can take off my belt and use that as a weapon. Pens and pencils can be used as a weapon. You can't take a person with no intentions to harm and put them as a criminal because that's what you normally do."
By Edward Kdonian Beer is hands down one of the most important inventions man has ever made. Not only did it serve to provide budding civilization with a sterile source of hydration, but it also provides a pastime, inspiration to the arts, a gateway to making personal connections with strangers, and hangovers… Okay so not everything beer gives us is necessarily good, but that doesn’t diminish its’ greatness one bit. For thousands of years humans have been tinkering, toying, experimenting, fiddling with, and perfecting ways to create this wondrous and beloved beverage. There are as many different recipes for beer as there are flavors in the world. Whether it be pumpkin, honey, chocolate, raspberry, or any other delectable take on this famous frothy drink, it all stems from the same basic process. A process that I can, and will teach you, so that you like countless men and women before you, may call yourself, A BREWER!
First thing to start with is your equipment. Overall your equipment for brewing beer isn’t too different from that used to make wine, really you just add in a few pieces since there are more steps to brewing beer. To start with you will need a large pot, big enough to boil your beer base in. If you are making a one gallon batch then get a pot that holds at least a gallon and a half. If you plan on making a bigger batch then you will need a bigger pot. Second you need an airtight fermenting bucket with an airlock. These can be pretty easily made with a five gallon plastic bucket with a lid, and then you just use a drill to make a small hole in the lid to insert a rubber gasket and an airlock. Airlocks only cost a few bucks and can be ordered easily online. Or you can pick up any of the supplies you might need over at JEEPERS BREW, a great store about 5 minutes away from campus. They are located at 3775 Post Rd right here in Warwick and they will set you up with everything you need including ingredients, starter kits, and bottling supplies. Okay you have your pot to boil your ingredients and your airtight fermenting bucket, now you only need a few more things. You are going to want a floating thermometer with a range from 0-100C or 32-220F, temperature is an important part of making sure your beer boils away any unwanted bacteria and then stays at the right temperature to ferment. Lastly you are going to need bottles and bottle caps as well as a tube to help you siphon your beer into them but we will come back to that. For now you have your basic list of supplies. Just remember as we move on that it is very important all your equipment is sanitized so if you don’t have a really good dishwasher to run them all through, pick up a few packets of sanitizing solution. It’s cheap and it will take care of your cleaning needs. Now that your equipment is on stand-by you are going to need your beer ingredients. Now ingredients can vary based on the type and flavor of the beer you want but the four basics are always the same. First you have your grains. Most commonly beers are made with malted barley. The point of the grain is to provide the sugar that the yeast will feed upon to create alcohol. Grains are also one of the most important factors in a beers color and flavor. Most commonly to make your own beer you would purchase an Unhopped Malt Extract; it makes for a simple already prepared ingredient that the home brewer can use for multiple recipes. Secondly you are going to need hops. Hops are grown in all different varieties, and pretty much all of them have a place in the beer brewing world. Hops provide the bitterness that beer is so well known for. Every variety of hops has a slightly different flavor just like the difference in grapes when making wine. You can look for hops known for more or less bitter flavors to suit your personal tastes when making beer. Hops also provide beta acids, which are one of the things that along with alcohol help to prolong the shelf life of your home brew. The last two ingredients are very simple, just water and yeast. I know you aren’t surprised at all, especially if you read my article on making wine. Your water should be filtered or bottled so as to introduce as few chemicals and contaminants to your beers flavors as possible. And as for yeast, it comes in to basic kinds when making beer, ale yeast, also known as top fermenting, and lager yeast, which is a bottom fermenting. Again all of these ingredients and supplies are sold individually or in kits, and can be purchased on line, or over at JEEPERS BREW. Okay, you have your equipment; you have your ingredients, now what? First you are going to boil your grains, or malt extract, and your hops in your water for about an hour. This will sterilize the mixture and help release the flavor from your ingredients. This mixture, called wort, is then cooled to room temperature before being poured or siphoned into your primary fermenter (the big bucket). If all of your water didn’t fit in your boiling pot then now is the time to add it to your wort. After the wort has fallen to room temperature the time has come to add in our yeast, and seal it up. Don’t forget to top your bucket off with an airlock, because if that gas doesn’t have a way out it will force the top right off of your bucket. Now it is time to wait. After about 1 to 2 weeks your beer will have finished its’ work. The yeast will have eaten up all of your sugar creating alcohol and carbon dioxide. This will leave you with an alcoholic, bubbly, beverage that tastes like a mixture of hops and grains. Guess what, that’s beer. Now all we have to do is bottle the product of our endeavors, so that it may age a little while. Don’t get me wrong it is perfectly fine to drink now, but aging it will help to make sure any remaining yeast solids have time to sink to the bottle of whatever bottles you decide to put it in, as well as give the flavors time to age and come together. Don’t worry, most home brewed beer is perfectly aged within a few weeks, a month tops. And on the bright side, once it’s done you can share it with your friends and amaze them with the fact that you made it yourself. Or, you know you could always bring me a bottle and share with me. By Edward KdonianAutumn has always been my favorite time of year. The leaves are changing, the weather is cooling down, and the years’ most decadent and filling feast is on the horizon. For most of America, Thanksgiving and all the wonderful foods that go with it, is a time of guilt free gluttony and family togetherness. What, I ask you, goes so very well with both of those things? A good seasonally inspired cocktail, that’s what! So this reporter and amateur bartender took the time to sit down with a few friends and invent some delicious and unique autumnally inspired martinis.
The Cranberry Sauce Martini Not just for dry turkey anymore! This sweet treat will make your taste buds start singing Christmas carols a month early 3oz Cranberry juice cocktail 2oz Cherry or Raspberry Vodka Splash of Grenadine 1Tbs Jellied Cranberry Sauce Put ingredients into a cocktail shaker with some ice and mix until cranberry sauce is dissolved. Pour into a martini glass and garnish with some maraschino cherries. You could also try adding an orange slice to the rim of the glass for a pop of color. Apple Pie à la mode This classic American dessert is now in a handy liquid form that can be served warm or cold. This crisp and light drink is as strong in alcohol content as it is in flavor. 2oz Whipped Cream Vodka 1oz Cinnamon Vodka 4oz Apple Cider Give your ingredients a quick shake and your little slice of liquid apple pie is ready to be eaten. A great way to garnish this drink is with a simple cinnamon sugar rim and a thin slice of apple dipped in lemon juice to keep it from browning. For a sweet twist drizzle some caramel sauce into the glass before pouring in your drink. Creamy Pumpkin Pie Martini What would autumn be without pumpkin pie? Thank to this smooth and enchanting drink you won’t have to find out! 1oz Pumpkin Pie Vodka 1oz Cinnamon Vodka 1oz Butterscotch schnapps 3oz Half and Half 2Tbs canned pumpkin purée Have a glass with a graham cracker rim ready for this delectable treat once it’s done with its ride in your cocktail shaker. Throw on a nice dollop of whipped cream and say hello to pumpkin flavored paradise! This was by far the flavor that blew the most minds at my tasting party. The pureed pumpkin mixes in so smoothly you will be positive that it was made just for this drink. After dinner Cinnamon Coffee Another drink that can be served cold or warm, this cup o’ joe is the perfect ending to a holiday meal or accompaniment to an amazing dessert. ½oz Whipped Vodka 1oz Cinnamon Vodka 1½oz Kahlua 2oz Fresh coffee chilled (or hot) 1oz Half and Half Simple and heartwarming this drink is perfect served in a martini glass or coffee mug. Just top it off with whipped cream and a sprinkle of cinnamon or nutmeg and you are ready to wind down from a day of turkey and piggishness. By Edward Kdonian The Declaration of Independence holds many truths to be self-evident. However there is one truth that it has completely ignored. A truth that is undeniable. A truth that has eluded even the most learned mind. An incontrovertible fact that has led to countless hours of speculation among the masses. I have spent almost thirty two minutes going over the evidence and coming to a conclusion. No longer will another person have to spend hours awake in bed pondering the answer this difficult topic. No longer will work go undone as our minds are overwhelmed with a demand for satisfaction. For it is here and now that I will once and for all answer the unanswerable question. Never again shall you wonder, “Which are better, real bears, or gummy bears?” I shall show you once and for all the answer is and always shall be Gummy Bears. In my search for the answer to this mind boggling question I first had to research the birth of both species of bear and how much good they had done for humanity. I learned using a new breakthrough in technology called the interweb that Gummy bears were strategically bred in the 1920’s by a visionary who went by the name Hans Riegel. We can all agree that Hans’ invention has brought to all human beings nothing but joy and deliciousness for almost a century. Real bears however have, according to more research, been around for approximately four to five million years. For most of that time it wasn’t joy that they brought to mankind but fear, as a predator of our ancestors. Or perhaps it is simply fear of those huge teeth that scared me when I saw that giant stuffed bear in a hotel lobby as a child. Seriously those things have some horrifying teeth. Who wouldn’t be afraid if you met a giant furry monster with huge yellow teeth in an alley at two o’clock in the morning after you were done getting wasted at the bar up the street from your house? I mean you already had a crappy night because you didn’t get laid, and now there is an eight hundred pound grizzly staring you down for a snickers bar. That sounds like terror incarnate to me, point Gummies. Real bears however have changed their roll a bit in the last century as well starting with the appearance of teddy bears in 1902. Yes it is hear that I will look at the influence of both bears on the hearts of our children. Interestingly, right on the coattails of the gummy bears invention, real bears had a sudden change in public relations. Yes in fact just after the fruit flavored treats came into the lives of American citizens, making everything better, bears everywhere started looking better. You see it was in 1926 that A. A. Milne created one of my child hood favorite characters, Winnie the Pooh. Was he hired by the bears as part of a cover up to conceal their real agenda? I don’t know. I spent minutes looking for evidence of this but the trail has gone far too cold. I think however it is clear to say that it was the appearance of gummy bears that opened the door for the creation of such a lovable, honey eating, stuffing filled children’s book character to come into being. So for giving Milne the opening needed to create Pooh Bear that is one more point in the column of gummy bears. I know what you are thinking. “Hey Ed” you say “What about the Winnie the Pooh cartoon?” you ask in that nasally, mocking voice. “Surely their role in the entertainment industry should be a point in the column of real bears” you say. As if you think the fact that Winnie the Pooh had a fantastic children’s cartoon somehow means he gains points for real bears. Well I hear you, you smug son of a bear. I remember that cartoon and it was wonderful. I remember sitting with my little sister and younger brother watching piglet get thrown about on the breeze on a particularly blustery day. I remember laughing as Pooh dressed up as a rain cloud to get honey like the adorable, bumbling moron he was. You know what else I remember? Gummy bears had a cartoon of their own… Before you ask, yes, I also remember that it was a terrible soul crushing abomination that caused gummy bears everywhere to look like juice drinking, bouncy addicts instead of the delicious chewy morsels they are. There are you happy? I admit it, somehow a cartoon bear has scored a point with me for real bears. It may not have any standing in logic or reason but there it is. What does this mean however? Nothing I tell you. The fact is that Gummy Bears still win. I mean seriously. They come in multiple colors, multiple flavors, and are delightful every step of the way. Real bears may come in multiple colors, but they only come in one flavor, Bear. They are also far from delightful most of the time. I mean seriously for every real bear wearing a fez and riding a unicycle, another is stalking campgrounds and making you tie your food in a bag and hang it in the air as if I have time to be untying my fruit loops every morning. Oh and if you try to leave your food in your car guess what… They break into your Kia Sephia and take it. I mean seriously, real bears have no manners. I would totally give you some food bear if you asked nice, you are terrifyingly adorable. But no. You think it is okay to break into my car and now I have to get a new window because you wanted to eat my damned gummy bears. You can all burn real bears! Sorry about that, I got a bit carried away. In conclusion gummy bears bring joy and life to the taste buds of children and adults everywhere, and real bears just suck in comparison. |
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